Intergenerational OpportUNITY in the Age of COVID
If you’re anything like me, the COVID lockdown has sent you spiraling down your own emotional abyss at least a few more times than you’d readily admit. While the prospect of sitting around the house all day once appeared restful to some, it loses its charm once a pandemic ushers in a forced allegiance to your couch (or bed, or fridge, or television...). If you’ve found yourself feeling a bit down, rest assured: you aren’t alone in this. Depression and anxiety are on the rise across the United States, with nearly half of Americans reporting a decline in their mental health due to Coronavirus and a more than 1,000 percent increase in the federal emergency hotline for emotional distress in April 2020 compared to April 2019.
I was quick to point the finger at loneliness, which is a known factor contributing to issues in mental health (and in my opinion, a logical conclusion given the social distancing recommendations and stay-at-home orders.) Given the lengthy research on loneliness and social isolation’s impact on older adults, I worried that the pandemic would exacerbate an already existing issue in vulnerable populations of older people. However, according to recent research published by the American Psychological Association, loneliness levels have generally not increased as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic.
Professor Martina Luchetti from Florida State University College of Medicine lead the study and weighed in with her hypothesis behind the unchanged numbers: “The Pandemic is something that everyone is going through, and just knowing that you are not alone and that everyone is going through the same restrictions and difficulties may be enough in the short term to keep feelings of loneliness down.” In short, someone’s perception of their own loneliness is more important than the objective reality and frequency of their social interactions. In other words, “do you feel lonely?” is a more important question than “are you lonely?” And- here’s the kicker: it’s harder to feel lonely when everyone is going through the same thing as you. Please note: this is not to say that an individual’s case of loneliness hasn't gone up, but the general trend we are seeing suggests no statistically significant increments.
My Mom always told me that “idle minds do the Devil’s work”, but she also told me that “misery loves company.” Never have these two statements rung more fundamentally true in our world than now. It is a strange, somewhat unsettling thought that sad people may get some consolation from realizing that other people are sad too. But I think it provides a wonderful opportunity for emotional intimacy in friendships, relationships, and in some cases amongst strangers! How often do we know, without a doubt, that the person we’re talking to gets it? How often in life are we all in the same boat?
This is not to say that any of what we are feeling is good, but it is to suggest that we lean into this opportunity for connectedness, even if that connectedness is filtered through mutual feelings of sorrow. Human connection is human connection. If we take a gerontological approach to our unfortunate circumstance, we have a unique opportunity at this specific point in time to bridge generational divides through learned empathy. When else would vast swathes of twenty-something-year-olds be forced to understand the plight of older adults who have lost their mobility and physically couldn’t leave the house, even prior to the pandemic? When else would the consequences of social isolation on physical and mental health be more intimately felt and understood? I have high hopes that when we come out the other side of this pandemic, we will be living in a more highly empathetic, acutely aware, and age-inclusive world because of our newly lived experiences.
The phrase “new normal” has been tossed around quite a bit recently. I have an optimistic vision of what our “new normal” will be, and it doesn’t center around masks and 6 feet of space between one another. It focuses on removing the “I’m okay” masks that we wear every day, with a deeper understanding of one another’s challenges. And it fills the spaces that exist between us with compassion and mutual respect.
